Negative attitudes on the rise
I think the negativity has increased in the last two years. People are negative about work, about finding a job, about family, about friends, about school, about politics, about life.
In the last two years, about 70% of my coaching clients have had negative attitudes about something or have had to deal with people with negative attitudes. Those negative attitudes revolved around:
- Frustration
- Distrust
- Anger
- Hospitality
- Whining
- Confrontation
- Troubleshooting
- Selfishness
- Inflexibility
- Persistent
- Pessimism
- sarcasm
- Skepticism
- impulse
- rudeness
- Intimidation
- Arrogance
- nit picking
- pass judgment
- make excuses
- cling to the past
- favorites playback
- interrupting
- No listening
Negative vs. Positive Thinking
Being positive or negative comes down to a choice. First of all, you need to understand and deal with the problem. If you don’t own negativity, it’s hard to change it into a positive thought. Focus on the roots of negativity.
Some people are naturally excellent “black hat thinkers.” That is, they automatically go to the reasons why something will not work or describe the problems with what is being discussed. They need to listen to others first before offering their ideas.
For other people, there is a specific reason for the negative bias, such as conversation in the workplace or at home, low self-esteem, exposure to negative attitudes, or a history of perceived failure or loss, to name a few.
The more time we spend thinking and acting negatively, the more it becomes who we are, and we can eventually feel overwhelmed by it.
One of the secrets is that positive people can find positivity in moments that may seem negative. They do this by talking to themselves in a certain way internally.
some difficult negative people
Complainers are full of perpetual negativity. They will tell you that nothing ever goes right in their lives, nothing good ever happens to them, the only luck they have is bad luck, they never seem to get a break. Complaining can become addictive. The more you complain, the easier it is to complain.
Troubled people are pushy and aggressive. Basically, they don’t listen. For troubled people, their rights as individuals take precedence over the rights of another person. Some types include the bully, the screamer, and people with tall body language. These types of people enjoy a hostile face-to-face disagreement.
Adversarial communication involves a wide range of common words and phrases including language that implies that the speaker is better than another, demeaning language, language that expresses a lack of interest, and ways of offering unwanted and unsolicited advice, unrealistic assurances , etc.
What you can do about negativity: your own and/or someone else’s
- Use positive self-talk. Negativity is helped or hindered by internal dialogue. Make your internal dialogue positive. Tell yourself why your life is good and acknowledge the things that bring you joy or fulfillment. Avoid condemning yourself for mistakes or mistakes or for what you consider bad decisions. And if you say things like “That was the dumbest thing I’ve ever done” or “What an idiot I am,” practice ending on a positive note by saying something like “Okay, what can I do to improve next time?” or ” What did I learn from that?”
- Start again. The past is the past. Don’t stop at that. Stay in the present and look to the future. Wait for the best things to happen, and they will.
- Focus on your Positive Emotions. Focus on the positive aspects of your life. Allow the temporary negative emotion and then let it go.
- Using Visualization and Affirmations. See, listen and feel yourself being positive. Use an affirmation similar to: “I am a positive and optimistic person.”
- Mix, reverse, clear and redirect. Blend by mirroring the voice and body language of the negative or difficult person. Then back up using some of the person’s own words and clarify the meaning, intent, and criteria. Finally, summarize what you have heard and confirm it to make sure you understood it correctly.
However, not all negativity is bad. Certain situations, for example, call for a certain amount of skepticism or defensive pessimism. You must take things with a grain of salt and be smart with your decisions.
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