If you were to conduct a random poll on what makes people happy, many people’s response would likely involve fantasies about winning the lottery. Most assume that multiplying the moolah will create a corresponding increase in ecstasy, but it is a sad fact that the more money we have, the unhappier we become.
Before you assume that I am one of the Mother-Grundy who believes in the nobility of poverty, let me assure you that your statement would be incorrect. I’ve often said that if I’m going to be miserable, I’d rather be sad in a Ferrari than sad in an old Ford! When it comes to money, I love the stuff, but the reality is that it’s not the currency of long-term happiness or fulfillment.
It’s puzzling that around the world more people have more money than ever before, but instead of seeing the wealthy bouncing off walls with joy, wealthy people experience more misery, fear, anxiety, and depression than their parents or grandparents before them. .
This mental malaise begins with the middle class, a creation of the previous century, and for those of us who grew up in the mix of a rich minority and a poor majority, we are probably the first or second generation to earn a lot of money. For the first time we have more than enough money to cover our basic survival needs and because this is a new situation, we are not yet experts in dealing with it.
Past realities dictated that only the candy-nosed members of the upper class could achieve fame and fortune, but with today’s abundant opportunities, anyone with talent and determination can do it. Naturally, many people get caught up comparing their existence to the lifestyles of the rich and famous, but trying to emulate the superficial aspirations portrayed by E! Television makes them lose sight of who they are. So the endless cycle of toiling and spending is poisoning our minds, making us sick and tired…and poor.
Oliver James’s diagnostic title of his book labels this malaise influx; which he defines as a contagious middle class virus that causes depression, anxiety, addiction and boredom and symptoms include:
o Insecurity: unrealistically comparing yourself to others (like Donald Trump or Britney Spears, for example) and deciding that you fall short.
o Alienation: Feeling disconnected because our relationships are based on convenience and so much priority is given to selfish achievement that there is little energy left to form real bonds within our close relationships.
o Feeling incompetent: Comparisons mean that no matter how successful you are, it will never be enough. This generates high levels of self-criticism and unbridled anxiety.
o Inauthenticity and feeling hypnotized: not recognizing that the highest price to pay for consumerism is to be consumed by it; even to the point of being bought and sold as commodities ourselves.
James claims that the virus has reached pandemic proportions in the English-speaking world because we insist on confusing our wants with our needs.
Centuries ago, hunter-gatherers spent 30-40% of their time on food activities such as gathering, preserving, storing, etc. But today to our food basket we have added palatial homes, luxury cars, home entertainment systems, unnecessary appliances, unused weight-loss or gym equipment, and wardrobes full of Hollywood-style clothing. Then, once we have the first model (of anything) very much like hamsters, we start rushing the wheel to buy the next and last one after that. In itself, this has more than doubled the time we spend working, and our exhaustion has all but eradicated our appetite to enjoy life.
It’s no wonder that the more time-saving devices we’ve invented, the less time we have to live because we’re too busy buying things to impress other people who are too busy to notice they’re doing the same thing. And we’re stuck in the wheel. If we don’t join the Joneses and trade our money for fashion junk, then we will feel inadequate, fueling the cycle of anxiety and depression. If we do, then we dent our cash flow or add to the debt trap, further intensifying our anxiety and depression. It’s the dilemma actress Lily Tomlin was referring to when she said: ‘The problem with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat!’
In Food is better medicine than drugs Patrick Holford says that resorting to mind-numbing chemicals like antidepressants has made these drugs the third most prescribed in the world. If we don’t address the real reasons why we’re depressed, Harvard University warns that depression is likely to be one of the top health risks in 2020. company that produces these happy little pills instead of swallowing them.
The most powerful cure for money malaise is to satisfy our human need to make a difference. Martin Seligman, founder of a new field called ‘Positive Psychology’, shows that making other lives breathe easier is the only way to create lasting happiness. It is not about altruism; it’s about getting feedback that tells us our own lives matter. That’s why making a difference produces a much more positive high than regularly contributing to the already healthy earnings of Gucci or Gabbana.
We are virtually immune to the virus if we stop pretending and show ourselves as ourselves. Along with authenticity, influx The immunization kit also includes ‘vivacity’ and ‘playful’. By liveliness, James refers to having a zest for life or, in other words, doing things that he enjoys to release his life force or energy. Instead of spending your time browsing the malls or sitting around lamenting the misery of life, make someone else happy or just have fun.
Money is not to blame for making us miserable; we have done this to ourselves. Instead of striving to be important, we’ll be happier and more fulfilled if we take the time and trouble to figure out what’s really important to us and then do it.
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