Parenting is one of the most demanding stages of life, in terms of time, money and energy. Planning is therefore critical at this stage. This is so because many reach the state too early or too late in life, which could have unhealthy implications. Some people, due to their career orientation, might be forced to forego having children until they achieve their career goals.
With unpredictable changes due to hormonal activity, it could be true that one of the parents faced menopause earlier than expected – it could be, this time, between the ages of 35 and 40, or perfectionism was to blame for letting it take so long. to find the right person, with whom to share the responsibilities of having children. There are, however, some cases of people skipping parenthood because of fertility problems.
Obviously, the sociocultural expectations would be; that one has children to allow the continuity of a clan or community, as an investment for care in old age, for companionship, to obtain satisfaction in fulfilling the goal of being a father – and of raising them successfully.
Having children, while you are a teenager, is really a great challenge, as it can carry a number of risks. There could be, for example; possible contraction of sexually transmitted diseases, financial difficulties, infant death and difficult deliveries – because at that stage, the pelvic region may not be well developed – and lack of parental care – however, a child would need a natural environment to develop – under which caring, nurturing, psychological security, supportive and loving are part.
Other dangers could be the distancing of family, school and social relationships. Her expectation might have been that she or he is the right age to have a child. Planning and decision-making is therefore essential. It could contain around four basic questions: when to get married, when to have children, how many and with whom.
Parenthood has biological, sociocultural, economic, and political connections, all of which could be a part of planning and decision-making. The aspects would guide a candidate for paternity, for example; safe processes of sexual health and number of children, facilitating children’s learning and skills formation, and preparing the child for citizenship roles.
But unlike the period before the 1980s, modern times have made parenting a slightly harder choice to make. At most, it eliminates the mutual roles that the child and the parent would have to create a natural bond. Today, however, ideal parents would try to balance work and family roles to help give knowledge and kill relevant to their stage of development.
Divorce and separation, at another time, can be a turning point in a child’s life. In the absence of a parent, communication between the missing parent and the child would be remote. As a result, the doors would be open to substance abuse, conduct disorder, depression, low self-esteem, and conduct problems all plaguing the same child. Furthermore, stepparents reportedly tend to be more hostile towards children compared to stepparents (Fine & Kurdek, 1992). However, children’s negative experiences have been associated with low grades in school (Dubois, Eitel, & Feiner, 1994).
In addition, the continuous conflicts and the negative experience of the child also distance him from social and family values. Outside the family, it would be the schools and society that would suffer from juvenile delinquency.
Normally, it would be at puberty when a child gains full independence after gradual phases of orientation out of the family shell. Unfortunately, at that point they would still be financially dependent on their parents. This interferes with the naturally communicated independence, from a biological point of view. Despite this, the parents do carry out strict supervision of the child, which turns out to be a source of conflict. Meanwhile, the conflict causes terrifying times for parents and children characterized by increased stress, amid uncertainty and discord.
A poorly educated parent would not easily understand the child’s biological, psychological, and social changes. Instead, she or he could choose to beat the child, until either one kills another. Also, they tend to be more hostile towards children as compared to the educated ones. However, positive parent-child exchanges and health behaviors are crucial to successful parenting.
However, there could be some people who are not worthy of being parents or who should not have been parents in the first place, regardless of the age of the parents. They act irresponsibly, like they just had children by accident! In reality, they deserve the strongest possible punishment for destroying the child’s future, as soon as possible. Perhaps, in the future, we could have mandatory interviews for parents-to-be.
It should be noted that the parent’s toxic actions towards the child could negatively affect the physical, mental, academic and social development of the child. In fact, it’s another form of murder, this time called identity murder. All of this could be happening at the same time, as the child is confronted with the multifaceted adolescent torture of the parents. They can carry the forms of negative labeling of children, verbal insults, intimidation, threats to withdraw support, passive contributions to the child’s development, presenting negative wishes, stifling the child’s development, and so on.
A child without the necessary support systems, loss of self-esteem, depression, anxiety, suicidal impulses, drowning in acts of substance abuse, breach of social peace, which in extreme circumstances, could commit suicide or cause madness, brings up a case Serious as it should be should never be taken lightly. Such parents often have a severe lack of parenting skills, while others have a prejudicial background. With them, their parenting styles tend to be worse. Giving a person like that a child to her parents would be as good as throwing the child to a tiger to devour.
He is usually authoritarian -characterized by constant verbal and physical aggression. Communities are often reluctant to intervene, unless there is a serious murder of the child or the parent, which stems from long-term silent conflicts.
Given the dire consequences of poor parenting, some parents might be just as good at not parenting. They would not deserve the honor of fatherhood. It is, rather, a pure mistake. Whether biological father or not, there would be no relationship at all. Thus, the abused child would be as good as an orphan.
Characteristics of abusive parents could be; Acting as competitors (with the child), intimidating, being insensitive to the needs of the children, sadism, verbal and physical aggression, mutilating and stifling the channels of the child’s development, arguing instead of discussing the problems with the child and discouraging in instead of encouraging or supporting a child’s positive attributes. child, carrying out the divide and rule policy in the home, and surprisingly creating rivalry and unhealthy competition among the children.
Wandega (Wednesday, September 10, 2008, p. 12), compared the times of African traditions and the present – regarding the protection of children against parental abuse. According to him, today’s parents have lost everything. There are many cases of child abuse and pornographic material being shown every other day in Uganda.
Because they cannot easily apologize to abused children, parents become insecure (as if expecting revenge) and see no point in providing more support to the child. The conflict, then, could have gone so far as to seem impossible to remedy.
The result is an open refusal to support the child in his development efforts, he becomes unemotional and often uses negative labels against the child with the intention of destroying (if not killing the person himself) the child’s personality. .
Also, because the child has no one to talk to, or is simply forbidden from discussing with people outside the toxic family, the child could develop suicidal impulses or even carry it out.
The day of the abused child never includes rest. He or she acts partly like the boy or girl of the house, but has to be at school, play, do homework and participate in entertainment activities.
Going to a boarding school might be the only way out, although some people would like their problems at home to be solved there. First, child human development issues must have stakeholders, including; schools, NGOs and even the government. Second, the first step in mental health intervention, the child must be relocated from the pathological area. For such children, there are no more possibilities to relate positively with parents and with evidence that it is a past case. It would be to help a child develop a new lifestyle, as soon as possible, to help them recover from a long history of family trauma, gain self-esteem, and ultimately make it easier for them to surround themselves with nice people – who show care and love.
Whether or not the children go to boarding schools is a matter of time. A boarding school for the developing child would be more suitable at puberty. It is at that moment that the biological clock indicates the need for independence and the development of social relationships.
But first, there should be informal sessions with the child at home to make him aware of the changes that are taking place in his body and what he is about to face. This could then be accompanied by imparting skills to help the child (or children) successfully overcome the challenges of puberty.
Children, for example, would need to learn and practice value-based skills such as decision making, assertiveness skills, negotiation skills, goal setting, effective communication, and life planning skills. Also, knowledge of changes in adolescence and contraceptive use could follow suit. These could act as benchmarks for any development challenge.
Changing times require parents to mix the different roles well. For example; having to attend work and be at home – to instill morals and values in the children, and to watch over those who “qualify” to be in the boarding school. Childcare, being a hectic role, could be a joint venture between parents and schools. At one stage, society could enter.
By doing so, parents could track the progress of the child’s development and gain confidence in knowing how the children are doing. Any parent, who never works with schools on child development, is nothing more than a stranger to their own child.
Interestingly, the lazy parent puts all his trust in the child, expecting him to report what happened at school, while sometimes claiming to be busy. But this would be the best time for children to reach the highest peak of freedom to experience even the “no-fly zones” -like; misappropriation of school fees, falsifying report cards, and dropping out or dropping out of school without parental notice.
From such bad parental behaviors, wouldn’t we be nurturing potential corrupt government officials for the future? From the above scenarios, surely the occurrence of many other bad consequences of any kind would not be a surprise. The question would be, then, what role, as a father, did you play?
