Do you have problems with your wife or girlfriend and feel that she is one discussion away from an aneurysm? Does he yell and scream at the slightest provocation? Do you feel that she will never be happy and that she becomes so crazy that you think you could just get up and leave?
If you feel this way, you are not alone. We’ve all heard of crazy women and I’m sure guys get together and they all talk about wild arguments with tiger-wives and how crazy their women can go over the slightest incident.
But let me tell you that taming a crazy woman is actually so easy, you would be surprised. It’s as easy as Adriana Lima to make a man hard. The key to calming her down and making her love you again is to treat her the right way AND doing it FASTbefore it starts to boil.
During an argument, men want to take some time to let the air clear or to think things through, but when a woman starts to get angry, you need to defuse her anger quickly. Space and time to think make it spiral out of control and in Crazyville.
His madness is really a plea for your love and help
The best way to unplug her from her crazy place is talk to her hurtnot to his anger.
Every ‘crazy’ woman has a musky center. In fact, I’d wager that the crazier the woman (I’m using crazy loosely here, if she’s really crazy and suffering from mental illness, then that’s a different article) the more maudlin the center. Loud, explosive, volatile, angry, tirade women are actually extremely sensitive and experience very intense pain.
A woman acts crazy because she feels that she is emotionally in survival mode. She feels, at that moment, something so strong inside that I would compare it to being pushed out of a car in the middle of the desert and having nowhere to go. She feels abandoned and completely alone. In fact, I have spoken with clients who say that a man who leaves them emotionally hurts them worse than if he had punched her in the face.
You could have done something you felt was insignificant, dumped her for the weekend, or told her you didn’t think you were ready for a commitment, but to her, you might as well have told her that she’s a nasty piece of trash. . Yeah, it’s that extreme of a feeling for her.
Does the fact that she acts crazy mean she has low self-esteem? Not necessarily. What I would equate with her having low self-esteem is more how YOU behave in the relationship. If you are not an honorable, completely honest, generous, loyal and tender man with her, then she has low self-esteem. Why? Because women with healthy levels of self-confidence only mess around with good men. If you embody all of these great qualities and she is still constantly looking out for you like a raging hyena, she would say that she has a mental illness or that you are not clear on what she needs from you.
Look, women need different things than men think they need. A man could be going through all the right steps with a woman (buying her things, listening to her, falling in love with her, sexually pleasing her, making her laugh, etc.), but if he’s not emotionally available to her (opening up, talking about commitment, expressing the desire to care for her for a long time, inviting her into his life by revealing his secrets, staying in the room during an argument, etc.), then she may feel that he is not safe’.
WOMEN NEED TO FEEL SAFE. If you don’t get anything from this article, know a lot about us. By security, I don’t mean financially or spiritually, I mean emotionally. We need to feel that you are not going to abandon us when times get tough, or hide parts of yourself from us, or make your need for validation from all women more important than your need to be loved exclusively by us. If we feel that you are too concerned with how other women see you or that you prioritize your ‘manly freedoms’ over us, we will feel insecure around you.
How to tame a crazy woman
The GOOD NEWS is that you can turn off their ‘madness’ in no time. You can take her from 60 to 2 in a matter of seconds. How? You have to connect with your heart instead of trying to rationalize with the crazy, monstrous part of her that throws the remote at your head. I repeat: STOP RATIONALIZING WITH HER.
Now, by speaking to the heart, I don’t mean a sympathy speech (“Baby, you know I love you. Why are you acting like that? I don’t want to hurt you, baby”). Please do not do it. talk to her like you have some idea of a stud who can charm girls. She will see through him. Even if she buys it, she’ll go crazy again in a few days. Why? Because you’re really not being truthful, you’re just telling her what she wants to hear.
To speak to a woman’s heart, you have to come from a genuinely loving place. You have to be able to see the scared little girl with a pink tail and a pouty lip that’s underneath all that screaming. She is there, I promise you, and she is TERRIFIED and DESPERATE for your love.
Right now, imagine what your wife looked like as a child. How ADORABLE was she? Was she dumb, dumb, shy, loud? Was she short, chubby, freckled or brave? Take a moment to see it in her head and fall in love with that adorable little princess (or tomboy) who could give the devil his angel wings back with a toothless smile.
Do you feel that part of you right now that cares for her? Do you feel that part of you that wants to take care of her, protect her, hug her and kiss her softly? That feeling has to be the springboard for your communication with her when she is on the brink of madness.
When it seems that she is about to get angry: Look her in the eyes, connect with her (even if you have to get in her face) and tell her that she is your everything and that you are sorry. You don’t have to apologize for your actions if you feel like you weren’t wrong, but gosh, apologize for the way you made her feel.
Take it slow and touch her while sending her love with your eyes. She needs to know that you are listening to her (not with your ears, but with ALL of your attention) and that you want to help her feel safe again. She (she acts like a maniac because she feels insecure).
Don’t talk bad to him! Talk to her like you KNOW she’s better than the way she acts, but you’re not superior to her just because she’s hyper-emotional.
Then I want you to wait for her to connect with you and calm down. She may keep screaming and screaming for a few seconds, but you have to stay with her and not give up that little girl inside of her. it is your duty, as her man, to take care of that little girl inside that angry woman and attend to her young and scared feelings.
You can still tell him to stop yelling, throwing things, blaming, etc. Be firm, be direct but be an adult with that girl. Once her ‘little boy’ starts yelling at you, calling her crazy, abandoning her or obstructing her, you have lost its power. You have become as childish as her.
be an honorable man
Defusing a woman’s crazy anger isn’t going to work if you just talk the talk and don’t walk the walk. You can’t speak to a woman’s heart and then turn around the next day and treat her like an option, a doormat, a sex kitten, a baby mama, the biggest fan in your fan club, etc. You gotta treat her like…are you listening?…she holds your value as a man in his heart
She has to be your priority, your confidante, YOUR safe place, your idol, your light at the end of the tunnel, your precious saving angel, your ego boost. And I know right now you want to tie her to a tree, lather her up with honey, and leave her looking like a hungry bear, but if you can have the trust to stop listening to her dark side that is in survival mode and start loving the little girl inside her will change everything in a matter of days.
The beautiful thing about women is that if you make them feel safe in the way I mentioned above, 9 out of 10 will step up and be a safe place for you. They will keep all your secrets, keep your dreams alive and fill your life with light.
‘Crazy’ women (overly emotional and explosive) are no exception. In fact, crazy girls have a magnificent side. Crazy women have a side that LOVES a man. Why? Because they are more childish than other women (remember the girl) and they see you like a daughter makes a fatherAdoring eyes and a radiant glow to your being!
When your lady freaks out, remember that she is not targeting you or trying to hurt you. I know she feels that way; I know you think she’s a sadist with a big pair of tits, but her anger isn’t at you. It’s about what you’ve triggered inside her: feel that she’s fighting for his life. I know it sounds weird and dramatic, but it’s true. If you speak to him from the heart and really try to LISTEN to his pain and tell him that you’re sorry and that you always want to take care of his feelings, he won’t know what to do. You will have saved her from you. This is how she will feel, as if you came and rescued her from the you that she was a minute ago. You will be her hero, even if you were the instigator.
*If you are being physically abused, leave her or seek counseling.
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