One of the best lessons a person can learn when it comes to parenting advice relates to the style you choose to raise your child. Parenting methods often vary from parent to parent and can be influenced by outside pressures, social guidelines, how the parent was raised, and even professional recommendations. As you become a parent or seek to discover changes in your approach, learn from my mistakes when it comes to parenting and the opportunities you can take to help.
When I was young, we still lived in a time when physical punishment was considered an acceptable means of parenting. When we ‘behaved’ everything was fine, but when we ’caused trouble’ we were subject to the wrath of my father’s belt. These days, physical punishment is frowned upon as parenting advice, whether it’s using the parent’s belt or spanking a child’s butt in public. One technique I used that turned out to be a mistake involved reward and discipline ideas that worked very well when my kids were young but ran out of steam over time.
When you have a young child, they are very susceptible to your influences, which represents the height of your power as a parent. Many mothers or fathers adopt this style of parenting advice as children from a young age respond very positively to this method. When a child looks for an opportunity for a reward, he’ll do whatever you want to get that prized item, whether it’s a toy, a treat, or something as simple as spending time in front of the television. Discipline can also be affective as it represents a form of fear instituted to change behavior or stop a child’s actions.
As the child grows older, the power of the parents begins to weaken, which will often result in a decrease in the effectiveness of the parents’ reward and discipline advice. Children become independent and self-reliant, which means there are only a few rewards you can offer to elicit a different action or attitude. Ideas of discipline are now mocked as a tool of the youth they no longer fear. Although most parents will punish more severely because they feel desperate and have no other choice, doing this will only increase the gap between parents and children. Independence becomes attractive, and ideas like rewards and discipline only create a separation between parents and children. Additionally, maintaining a power system (using rewards and/or punishments) will keep children dependent and/or in a continual state of fear. In hindsight, it doesn’t seem very sensible or logical to have used a system like that!
The reality is that if you’re embracing parenting advice like me, which only works for half of your child’s youth, it may be advice to avoid. I now realize how many negative problems are associated with the use of an energy system. There are many, many more downsides than I can explain in this short article. My son is now a father and I have encouraged him to avoid my mistakes and seek quality advice from professionals like Laura Fobler. I have read much of his work and have strongly encouraged my children to embrace parenting ideas that create quality outcomes rather than parenting controversies.
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