As I work with clients on a daily basis, it often amazes me how scary it is to show emotion. It is true that some people go the other way and are completely out of control with their emotions. However, many others are completely disconnected from how they feel. You can tell a person who is in this situation because when you ask the typical therapist question, “And how do you that Make you feel? ”There will be a long pause. Uhhh …. ummmmm … really the idea of adding excitement to an event is almost impossible for them.
This process can be very frustrating when a person’s spouse tends to be very in tune with their emotions. They know exactly how they feel at all times. When an investigation into what your partner is feeling brings up a blank stare, there may be a total breakdown in communication. My common response to helping the aggravated partner understand what is going on inside their loved one’s heart is “when they tell you they don’t know how they feel they are telling the truth.” do not know how do you feel. “
Generally, a person who gobbles will respond to any situation that requires emotions in one of two ways. They will give you the only emotion that our culture allows us to display: anger. However, anger is not the real emotion they feel. It is only the emotion that we are allowed to express openly. Anger is really about pain, unfulfilled expectations, or other pain. If a trickster does not show his anger expressed openly, he will simply push the anger inward and do what he does so well … fill it in!
The problem is that the padding doesn’t stop the excitement. Repressed emotions are not buried. In truth, repressed emotions multiply. They become stronger and more powerful. Holding back long-term emotions will eventually cause your body to break down. You can only carry so much emotion inside. Very soon, your internal systems will begin to respond to the heavy load that you are forcing them to carry.
If you are a stuffer, know that this information comes to you through divine providence. It’s time to take a step back and start finding new ways to identify and process your emotions. Emotions don’t have to be scary when you learn better ways to get in touch with them. Emotions are like the light on a car dashboard. They are meant to let you know that “something under the hood” needs to be examined. You can pull out the fuse so the light doesn’t come on, but that doesn’t stop the interior damage that could occur if you drive down the highway ignoring the warning sign.
