Communication – Two Communication Skills That Build Trust and Friendship Quickly
In successful communication, is there anything more important than the words you say? “Yeah,” there are two other ways you can build trust and friendship… that are more important than your words being perfect.
Professional entertainers and voice talents know the secret. They connect with their audiences through eye contact and facial expression. In your personal and business life, you too can be more dynamic with facial and eye expression.
WHEN YOUR EYES MEET – YOU BEGIN TO COMMUNICATE
“One of the most obvious aspects of behavior when you’re talking to another person is where you’re looking. Looking directly at the person while you’re talking helps communicate your sincerity and increases the directness of your message,” says Robert Alberti and Michael Emmons, in the seventh edition of her best-selling book “Your Perfect Entitlement, A Guide to the Assertive Life.”
You may have experienced the frustration of talking to someone who was reading the newspaper, and while he or she may have been able to repeat every word you said, you didn’t feel heard. You may have felt slighted when you were talking to someone in a meeting who seemed to be scanning the room for someone else.
When you make an effort to look directly at the people you’re talking to, you show them respect, make them feel important, and build a more positive relationship with family, friends, co-workers, and customers.
More importantly, avoiding eye contact can make you appear sly, guilty, timid, or scared. The common expression “He couldn’t look me in the eye” is often used to describe someone else’s fault.
While using eye contact, be careful not to stare, squint, or blink rapidly. It is more natural to look away from time to time in a comfortable and relaxed way.
YOUR FACE REVEALS SINCERITY
“Have you ever seen someone trying to express anger while smiling? It just doesn’t seem that honest. Effective affirmations require an expression that matches the message,” Alberti and Emmons say. If you’re sending mixed messages, others will believe your facial expression rather than the words you say. A forced smile will appear insincere. The tension can also be seen in her face with a wrinkled brow or pursed mouth or tight lips. Eye-rolling and disapproving looks can have powerful negative effects on communication.
If you have to say something negative, take the time to sit down and have a meaningful discussion with the other person, and your body language will naturally become more congruent with your message.
On the plus side, if something excites you, don’t be afraid to show it. When your face lights up, the energy you create is contagious, transmitting sunlight to others.
The bottom line in communication is to pay attention to your eye contact and facial expressions if you want others to pay attention to you and feel the connection that creates a bond of trust and friendship.
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