Christian codependency: four things to do to stop triangulating in your relationships
If you are looking for help with your Christian codependency, this article will help you by providing four things you can do to stop triangulating your relationships. You triangulate when you enter into a dynamic relationship between two other people in an attempt to solve the problem.
Here are some things you can do that are triangulating:
• Have resentment or punish someone for what they do to another.
• Speaking for someone rather than letting the person speak for themselves.
• Jumping into a problem between two people to try to solve it during the actual conflict.
• Appeal to someone on behalf of another person to convince them to think or act in a certain way.
Here are some real life examples:
• Get into an argument between your spouse and child to influence your spouse to handle the conflict in a different way.
• Call your mother to tell her how your sister feels about something.
• Talk to your sister about letting your child do a particular activity because the child called and asked you to talk to her.
• Punishing your brother-in-law by not including him in your household activities because your brother does not get along with him.
When you enter the relationship between two people, you face additional problems and prevent them from working on their relationship. Proverbs 26:17 says: “Like one who grabs a dog by the ears, it is the passerby who interferes in a dispute that is not his own” (NIV). You can work on your Christian codependency by recognizing that God does not expect you to do for other people what they should do for themselves: speak for themselves and solve their own relationship problems.
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