1. I am overprotective.
Some may call it a pseudo-pessimistic approach, but I constantly find myself thinking of worst-case scenarios whenever my daughter goes about everyday activities. These problems would be solved if the world came equipped with self-deploying airbags on EVERYTHING. Since that trailer has yet to evolve, I just have to wrap my little one in an imaginary bubble wrap suit. I’ve only recently realized that this girl is pretty tough and she’s nowhere near the uncoordinated ogre her father is.
2. It is important to appreciate the little things.
Children have this ability to teach without knowing, giving us adults reminders from the moment they enter the world. For too long I have been guilty of letting these precious moments slip by unnoticed. Watching a child’s reaction to a passing butterfly or lying on the soft grass watching the clouds go by makes the everyday “problems” we worry about seem trivial and insignificant. While bills must be paid and deadlines must be met, looking at life through your child’s eyes can help balance the stress and anxiety that our adult life brings. Blow bubbles, catch fireflies, or share an ice cream cone with your child. It will be a thrill for your little one and it will also serve as a reminder of how simple life can be.
3. Tube slides are not made for 280-pound men.
Consider this a warning to all active parents. These tube slides that are so popular in playgrounds today are dangerous for you. Oh sure, they’re no problem for your kid, but for the playful parent chasing their kid down one of these adult death traps, serious injuries can happen. Why are there different sizes of these devilish concoctions without some sort of warning label? It’s bad enough you hit your head on the bottom of the tube. You also run the risk of your center getting so stuck that only the Jaws of Life can get it out. What’s up with that? Does the tube shrink when going down? Don’t even get me started on static electricity. Is there entertainment value in receiving 20 electric shocks during a subway ride? Heed this warning and slide at your own risk.
4. Children see and hear everything.
Most parents would agree that this may be obvious. A simple slip of the tongue around your little one can come back to haunt you days or weeks later, usually at the most inopportune time. This also applies to the positive, since a child’s mind is like a sponge: it absorbs information and learns to apply it in everyday life. From reinforcing rules like “no running in the house” or “no hitting” to simpler things like remembering the ABC’s and correct hand motions to “Itsy Bitsy Spider”. Children want to learn and look to us as parents to provide them with the right information. It is a two-way street that I have found, since we also have a lot to learn from children.
5. Parenting strengthens the neck muscles.
Our family likes to go Geocaching, which is basically a high-tech treasure hunting game using GPS satellites. Many of these hunts require walks in the woods that can range from a quarter mile up to four miles or more. And while our little girl likes to do her share of hiking, she also has another favorite place she likes to ride: on daddy’s shoulders. At first this really wasn’t a problem, but as he gets older the paths seem to get a bit longer and the knees start to hurt a bit more. Still, no matter how big it is, as long as I want to get up there, I’ll do it while I can. They say that if it doesn’t kill you, it will make you stronger. So when I feel like I should be as strong as the Incredible Hulk, but hunched over and looking like Quasimodo, I’ll smile, because I’ve loved every minute of it.
6. I am a coward.
I wasn’t always a coward. At least I never thought I was one. However, some things in recent years have made me change my mind. First, watching my wife go through her extensive labor and recover from her C-section has amazed me. Second, the fact that I wince with every bump, fall, trip, fall, scratch, bump and graze and Julia bounces back. Third, the creaking of every bone in my body when I try to get up in the morning. Just a few days ago we filled his inflatable pool with water from the outside tap. Julia jumped without problems, splashing around, playing and having a great time. Seeing that the temperature was in the 90s, I thought she could come in and cool me off. Stepping foot into the water caused my face to contort into a mass of painful expression as the blood left my foot in search of warmer climes leaving a cold, numb stump. She must get her mother’s tolerance for pain because I now have an intense fear of inflatable pools.
7. The Wiggles could kick Barney’s ass any day.
Looking at this mix of childhood icons from the past two decades, you’d think it would be a pretty even competition. Barney has the size advantage along with a pretty extensive set of chewers on him. The Wiggles have the numbers game on their side and, while they lack Barney’s size, they have the advantage in quickness. In the end, however, I feel that with the added help of Captain Feathersword, Barney would be taken down by The Wiggle’s team, only to be saved from certain doom by the arrival of Dorothy the Dinosaur, who promptly ends the confrontation peacefully and serves to Rosy Tea. . Only Barney’s tea is poisoned and… Ok, this is where I usually wake up after falling asleep with Julia on my lap watching Greg, Anthony, Murray and Jeff Wiggle do their thing every morning.
8. If there’s a performance, you better watch it…or else.
It doesn’t matter if it’s the last 10 seconds of the Super Bowl or the end of American Idol, if your little one takes advantage of this moment to show off their new ballet dance, you better give it your full attention. Many parents have fallen victim to a television coma and have missed out on such excellent performances only to be faced with a disappointing stare, waiting for their applause. To avoid this heartbreaking scene and see your child shine with pride, pay attention. The cues can be subtle: singing a song, playing the piano, or performing a dance are all ways to get your attention without asking for it. When you acknowledge them and applaud their efforts, you get an immediate reward in the form of a smile, hug, or kiss that makes the extra attention worth paying.
9. I’m a guy who happens, if only in his eyes.
If you’ve ever walked through the mall with the pink duck diaper bag, or if you’re trying to look stylish while shopping for that giant pack of Huggies, just keep one thing in mind: It doesn’t matter. All you really need to make yourself feel like the king of the world is a thankful look, smile or hug from your little one. I’m the big daddy DJ, blasting the songs in our car while Julia’s in the back singing her heart out. Honestly, there’s something about driving through the hood with the windows down while the CD player plays Laurie Berkner’s “We Are The Dinosaurs” or Raffi’s “Baby Beluga” that just screams cool. Add some prescription sunglasses and you’ll be smoking… no matter how many people laugh at you.
10. Mom is the bomb.
Having to work out of town 3 or 4 days a week and being away from my family has made me realize what an extraordinary mom she is. She spends every moment of the day with our little girl, cleaning her, teaching her and developing her while I am away from her. She then lets me come home and take advantage of playtime while I’m there. Hard-working and sometimes underestimated, the mother can do things that we parents could never imagine: work for someone? So the next time mom asks you to change a diaper or give your little one a bath while you’re distracted by other important things like the world championship of poker on TV, realize where you’d be without mom. Go ahead, I’ll wait. Scary stuff, right?
