“Our authentic calling, our true work in this world, becomes an outgrowth of our lives. Our work can transform and transcend the traumas we survive, making them useful to us and, we hope, to others.”
– Louise DeSalvo, Virginia Woolf Scholar
According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, both fate and fate mean “a predetermined state or end.” Fate implies an inevitable and generally adverse outcome. Whereas fate implies something predetermined and often suggests a great or noble course or ending.
In other words, both destiny and destiny infer that there is some kind of predetermination.
As for who or what or where did that predetermined result originate? Well, I suspect the answer depends on which belief system you are most aligned with.
Regardless of what you believe and/or have personally experienced in life, the idea that our souls are here on earth to serve some sort of purpose can be either reassuring (especially if we feel like we’re on the “right” path) or unsettling. . (if we feel rather lost and sidetracked).
Or, if we believe that this whole exercise is just one big chaotic dice game that just happens randomly, then even if we don’t believe in any kind of predetermined plan or individual purpose, that doesn’t necessarily mean our lives don’t. it has no meaning. Rather, our lives can have the meaning we assign to them, rather than some greater force.
However, as I discovered when exploring the possibility of life after death, it wasn’t until after I lost someone very dear to me that I suddenly became VERY interested in whether or not they still existed, in any way, after the death of his body.
I suspect it’s the same with fate, luck, and the possibility that our souls have some kind of higher purpose for being here: we may not think too much about it, until we’re forced to…until we really do. amount.
In my experience, life after a significant loss is when life’s big questions rise to the surface. I think this is partly because searching for, and perhaps finding, a higher meaning in the wake of a tragedy helps make any heartbreak we’re experiencing a little more… palatable.
Do you believe in the idea that there is a “Divine Plan” for each of us?
God knows (pardon the pun) I heard that whispered in my ear enough times in the days and weeks after the death of my husband, John. And frankly, that particular flatness offered me little comfort. Instead, I was tempted to finish and punch the person in the nose.
Why?
Because I found it presumptuous for people to tell me that John’s sudden and easily preventable death was part of a larger plan hatched by a God who may or may not exist… and as such, I accept it better.
To me, the concept reeked of apathy, especially when I realized that this “Divine Plan” is not something any of us mere mortals ever get to know. Rather, it is assumed that it is enough that there is a plan, so no further questions need to be asked.
But what good is God having a great plan if no one knows what it IS?
I guess that’s where faith comes in.
However, perhaps because there were so many people telling me that God had a plan for me and John, I began to think that maybe they were right. So what did I do? Why, I tried to figure out the Plan, or at least our little parts of it.
I wasn’t very successful.
But now that almost 17 years have passed since his death, I am free to see things much more objectively than in those early days. And I can’t deny the possibility that there may be some sort of plan in the works. Or maybe it’s just the way I choose to frame the situation?
Here are some facts from our history:
1.) John and I used to argue about my procrastination as a writer. I had read Virginia Woolf’s book, A Room of One’s Own, several times. Woolf argued that for women to write good fiction, they needed a room of their own and a secure income. John thought that was ridiculous. He thought that the motivation and me sitting down to write something was much more important.
2.) The day before John died, we had one last argument about me not writing and I told him how scared I was to wake up 20 years later and still not have finished writing a book. He looked at me and said, “You’re probably right about that…as long as you know that was your choice.”
3.) Because John died in the line of duty and we had mortgage insurance, I was entitled to receive exactly what Virginia Woolf had proposed to me: a secure income for the rest of my life and an entire house, paid for in her full at 32 years. in which to write.
4.) Two weeks later, I began writing what would become my book, A Widow’s Awakening. It was published 8 years later… well under the 20 year time limit.
5.) A few years after his death, for some unknown reason, I took a drama course. The first script for my first play was called Salvador, and it was about John’s death from his brain injury, with none other than Virginia Woolf as his spiritual guide.
And then there are the workplace safety initiatives of the John Petropoulos Memorial Fund. If John hadn’t died as a result of a preventable fall in an unsafe workplace, the Fund wouldn’t exist, and I certainly wouldn’t be a safety advocate.
So, do I believe in destiny, destiny and/or some kind of Divine Plan?
Honestly, I don’t know WHAT I believe. But I do believe that there are much larger forces at play in our lives and our job is to get up every day and do the best we can at whatever is in front of us… and everything else just seems to fall into place. Finally.
“God does not die the day we cease to believe in a personal deity. But we die the day our lives cease to be illuminated by the constant glow of daily renewed wonder whose source is beyond all reason.”
– Dag Hammarskjold, former UN Secretary-General
