One of the most common sexual fantasies for both men and women is participating in a threesome. While the activity has the allure of a rewarding sexual experience, there are a number of factors that must be considered before having one. Some couples will propose a threesome as a way to reactivate their sexual relationship. The belief is that it could be a way to bring spontaneity and excitement back to the relationship if you’ve suffered from periods of time where things have been monotonous and uninteresting. Couples who decide to invite someone else into their bedroom need to understand the consequences of such an action and what it could mean for the overall health and longevity of the relationship.
Threesomes differ from regular sex in that the levels of attention between each person will not be divided equally. Sex with a person allows for an easier exchange of give and take between both parties. When introducing yourself to a third person, it is quite possible that someone within the relationship will develop feelings of inadequacy, especially if your partner is paying too much attention to the outsider. At first, the fantasy of a threesome can seem very attractive until you see your partner become intimate with the other person. Now what was supposed to be an exciting sexual experience has now raised issues of insecurity, confidence and jealousy.
Some couples do not fully discuss the possible ramifications before having a threesome. The attraction of the activity can be distracting from ensuring that an in-depth conversation takes place about how each person would actually feel having a threesome. Since each person has their own tolerance level for what is comfortable for them, it is imperative to determine what the rules and limits are; who gets to touch whom, sexual penetration is extended to the third person, kissing is allowed, etc. All of these factors should be carefully discussed with your partner to ensure that none cross those lines. One might feel threatened by the newcomer, especially if boundaries are not respected or if it appears that one’s partner is achieving higher levels of pleasure with the other person. Couples who enter into a threesome without discussing boundaries and what is acceptable behavior may be setting themselves up for a painful experience.
It is quite possible that such a sexual experience can bring a partner closer. They may discover a new awareness of how to better please their partner by watching them engage with another person. Also, it can give someone great joy to see that their partner is satisfied on a different level. A partner who can share that experience with an open-minded perspective can possibly propel the relationship to grow and develop in a new dimension. They may also find that the experience broadens their confidence levels. If you can watch your partner act sexually with another person without fear, doubt or judgment, you may have a relationship that transcends the physical aspects of sex and you will discover that rapprochement, not only in intimacy, but in other areas of relationship. too.
The bottom line is that some people don’t consider the side effects of having a threesome until after it has occurred. By then, it may be too late to withdraw any unwanted feelings or actions that have already occurred. While having a threesome is certainly an erotic sexual fantasy, maybe that’s the point; a fantasy is a mental escape from the confines of real life. If you find that the consequences of having a threesome will have a negative impact on the relationship, then it might be better to maintain the illusion of fantasy rather than deal with regrets of reality.
