The only part of my life that I had never really looked at until recently was how I feel about same-sex relationships. Many years ago, in 1977 I had a radio show in Australia. This was 5 years before the metaphysical door opened. It was a 3 hour show every Friday morning and I was the most popular person on the radio every week. Mainly because people loved my English accent, and now I realize that people were affected by my energy even then, as one woman told me, you are so comforting on the radio! I had to have a theme for my show, and I had heard a piece of music that I loved, it was called Billitus, and I didn’t know it was music from a movie about lesbians! I loved the music. This piece of music played my show and played it. One day I received a letter from a woman telling me that she loved my program and that she would love to meet me. Her name was Elizabeth and she was married and she had two children. I arranged to meet her a few days after the letter arrived. (As far as I remember, there was no email at that time) We met in the city, ate delicious food and talked and talked. Elizabeth seemed very nice and she invited me to her house to see pictures of her children and talk more. I advanced quite innocently.
During my visit to his house, he made me a cup of tea and sat at my feet. There she started telling me how much she loved me, how much she loved my show and wanted to be with me. He didn’t know what to do, because he certainly didn’t feel the same way. I also felt ashamed, deeply ashamed. I myself was married with children, I was not happy in my marriage, but the idea of being with another woman was YUK! I couldn’t get out of the house fast enough. She had given me a book by Karlil Gibran during our lunch, called “The Prophet”. Apparently, she had mentioned on air that I loved Gibran’s writing and didn’t have a book. I left the book behind in my effort to get out of the house as fast as I could. When I got home I felt sick, I also felt “dirty” as if I had been invaded. Elizabeth tried to reach me at the radio station by phone, but I refused to take her calls. She sent the Karlil Gibran book in the mail, with a nice card; I threw it in the bin. I can’t believe I did it now, but at the time I was so confused and embarrassed. It was as if the book was part of what had happened. I changed the music also in the show to something quite different. I put the experience completely out of my mind and moved on with my life, moving house and area a few years later.
After my experience with Elizabeth, many years passed without me coming back to the subject. Meanwhile, the AIDS problem grew bigger and then faded away. It was considered that if you were gay, as these relationships were known, you would contract AIDS. However, I was going on with my life, experiencing a recession in which I was a major player, and discovering metaphysics. I met quite a few gay people during this time but stayed out of their energy as I was so afraid that what had happened before would happen again. When I became a clairvoyant reader, I had some clients who were gay and the energy I channeled for them was so full of love and understanding, but still, I had immense difficulty understanding them. When Maitreya came into my life, one of the first things she began to teach me was love for all humanity no matter who. I had always had love in my heart for everyone, but this issue of homosexuals was a great obstacle to being able to move forward.
Maitreya taught me that love in any form was the most beautiful thing that people could have. She also taught me about sexual pleasure and how important it was for our spiritual/higher consciousness development, but also for OUR pleasure. She personally had never had an orgasm; He had to admit that he was very inexperienced in the sexual area. In fact, to be honest, I was downright embarrassed to talk about sex and to do anything other than what my parents basically did. Maitreya took me to books that explained sex in a completely new way; He taught me in many different ways about sexual energy, once he walked me through a book preview in a window display about tantric sex, to a store where I had to order the book. The store was very busy and the owner said very loudly when I asked for the book at the window “Oh, the book on tantric sex”. which made everyone look up and my cheeks turn red! One day I woke up in the morning and felt that I had a penis and testicles; it was as if etherically it did. I could feel the heavy testicles between my legs and as the day went on my penis would rise at the very thought of sex or at the sight of any pretty woman who crossed my path. Elizabeth’s thoughts came up again. I learned what it feels like to be a man for a day, and I must be the only woman who knows what the tingling feels like before a man has an orgasm. However, after a day, it was all over, but not before she learned that men are totally different from women and had a much better understanding of masculine energy. It was then that Maitreya told me that he did not like the word gay. I preferred to use the word “free”. Because he said that these people in same-sex relationships were free, they had freed themselves from the bondage of conditioning. It took a lot of commitment to be free and that is why he wrote a teaching about it. He advised me on the subject of same-sex relationships. I told him it was fine with me, but I didn’t feel like it was with me. He told me that it was okay, but not to judge and more than ever not to be afraid of these people (which I had to admit he was). I was raised by parents who called these people fags and other similar names.
I had to learn to decondition myself, which was not an easy task. However, I found myself more and more sympathetic. Maitreya brought free couples into my life to show me how she gave herself and received love from her. By now, free people were starting to have families, and a lot of controversy arose because of this. However, I started to think after seeing quite a few couples, why shouldn’t they do this? I could see that many of them had a lot of love to give to the children. The common thought was that the children of these couples would be free, but after meeting a couple of families who had been brave and had done this many years before and talking to the children, they were just as normal as other families, they only had two of same-sex parents. They said they had no feelings for people of the same sex. It was starting to change.
As I began to relax more about same-sex relationships, I found that I understood more and more of other topics as well. I found myself talking to free people up close, and actually I wasn’t afraid to do it, something that in my early years would have scared me. I remember when I was a child, two people in particular, one was a man named Quinten Crisp who, when he was in England, came out and admitted that he was free at a time when he considered himself horrible. They called him all sorts of names and he suffered terribly for doing so. Another was when Rock Hudson, the movie actor, died and the press was desperately trying to prove that he too was free. They never did at the time, but many years later, after of course a lot more people had come out, it was shown to be. I began to say, when I met a very beautiful free person; “What a waste!” He was changing so much that he couldn’t believe it. In 1991, a friend of mine lost her husband to cancer. He devastated her. She had two young children and now I realize that she couldn’t face what had happened. She needed someone to help me along the way as she traveled, and she needed to get away. Leaving her children with some friends at the times when I was leaving, we would travel together so that I could do my readings and teachings. One night, in the hotel room, she was crying on her bed for her late husband. I decided to sleep with her and comfort her. As I lay in her bed with her, I found myself feeling really good about this. She had her back to me, and suddenly I felt very affectionate with her, I also felt sexual. She didn’t turn around and finally went to sleep. I went back to my own bed and lay there thinking about the experience. She didn’t scare me, in fact it felt good. I wondered what I would have done if something had happened. I realized that I wouldn’t have bothered, I would have gone with the flow. I felt liberated!
Since that time, I have had no desire for a female partner or partner. When I met and married Alan, I felt complete as we are so much alike. I knew there would be no one else for me after Alan and Maitreya confirmed this. However, I was watching TV one night and there was a new show on MSNBC called “The Rachel Maddow Show.” Rachel was an amazing woman, she was not only amazing, but openly free. He loved her in a non-romantic way. Once again the feeling she had previously was back. However, this time I openly welcomed him without fear or wanting to hide. It doesn’t feel “bad” anymore to have that feeling, and I’m certainly not afraid of it anymore. Do I still love Alan? I bet yes? I also know that I need a man in my life, but would I consider a woman if that was different? I bet she would. I was thirty-two years old when I met Elizabeth, and now I am sixty-two. Thirty long years have passed, and during that time my belief system has totally changed. I cannot thank the spirit world enough for allowing me to see this and make the change that I have made. Maitreya has said, love is love, no matter how it is used. I totally agree.
