All addictions have symptoms, which allow us to recognize these problems as addictive diseases. Signs of addictive diseases are self-stimulation, compulsion, obsession, denial, withdrawal and craving, and unpredictable behavior. Like alcoholism or drug use, anger meets many of the criteria.
self stimulation
For those who are addicted to anger, expressing anger is exhilarating. Activate the compulsion for more anger. For example, suppose we are going to treat alcoholics. On the way to the treatment center we stopped and bought a case of beer. When we get to the meeting, we tell alcoholics in therapy that they just need to drink a lot to get it out of their system once and for all. This is similar to when the therapist tells men with anger issues, “You just need to express yourself and get it out of your system.” It’s just as absurd. The more alcoholic drink, the more they want. The more angry they get, the more they want to get angry.
Compulsion
Anger addiction or “anger addiction” is the compulsive pursuit of a mood change by repeatedly engaging in angry episodes despite adverse consequences. Anger addicts continue to rage compulsively without regard to the negative consequences. Compulsion or loss of control is the inability to stop expressing anger once we have started. The inability to control angry words is a sure sign of a tantrum. Loss of control: that’s addiction.
Obsession
Anger addicts are often preoccupied with resentment and revenge fantasies. Those thoughts sometimes arise powerfully and do not allow other thoughts to enter. The force of anger is sometimes irresistible and followed by action. Therefore, concern for the “wrongs” of others and revenge continually leads to anger. Gradually these thoughts crowd out all others until our lives become chronically revenge oriented. At that time, anger controls our thoughts.
Denial
Denial keeps anger addicts trapped. It is the mental process by which we conclude that addiction is not the problem; are they”. Ignorance of addiction and the inability to examine ourselves work together to keep anger addicts stuck. Knowing no other way to live, we deny that there is anything wrong with us. This denial system ensures that the process of anger and righteous indignation will continue. Righteous outrage keeps our focus off of ourselves. This is why the angry can rarely say, “I’m wrong.”
withdrawal and desire
Like any addiction, anger has a detoxification period. Desire is high during this time. Those who refrain from name calling, profanity, and yelling during this period report more depression than usual during the first three months. Generally, during the first 90 days of withdrawal, ragers feel vulnerable and spend a lot of time thinking and waiting for a situation that allows us to use violence for some heroic purpose. However, afterward, if we achieve complete abstinence and maintain it for 90 days, we find that we no longer think in profane or derogatory terms. It can even become shocking when we hear that others do it.
unpredictable behavior
Other definition of alcoholism is that when an alcoholic drinks, there is no way to predict his behavior. He can drink appropriately from time to time, just as the anger addict can express his anger appropriately from time to time. However, when the alcoholic starts drinking alcohol, all bets are off. Nobody knows what will happen. When anger addicts start expressing anger, no one knows where it will go. Most likely they will explode, rant and rave. Anger addicts would like to learn how to express our anger appropriately, just as alcoholics would like to learn how to drink properly. While there are some exceptions, I encourage people with anger issues to refrain from expressing their anger for a year.
This plan is only for that small percentage of the population that has problems with anger or violence. The approach described here is not for everyone; but for those addicted to anger, expressing their anger will not work.
