Okay, you’re not sure about asking an SD for money because you keep seeing advice against telling them about your financial problems. I’ll be one of the first to admit that asking an SD for money is anything but easy. You have to remember that when you ask for nothing, that is exactly what you will get. I learned that lesson the hard way. There is a difference between discussing your needs, expectations, etc., and complaining about your bills. It’s all in the focus.
With the men you meet through a sugar daddy dating site, it’s a matter of who takes charge first. Don’t wait any longer to talk about what you expect from them. They signed up knowing exactly what kind of website they were on. Your expectations should be a topic that is discussed very early in your relationship. If you have a short first meeting and there’s no time to mention it (and should bring it up), talk to him about it before your second meeting. If you don’t, you will have relinquished control. All you have to say to start the conversation is, “We need to talk about what each of us expects from this.” You don’t have to ask for much. If you see him 3-4 times a month, $200 each time you meet is a reasonable place to start. For an out of town sugar daddy you see once a month, aim for $400-500. In either case, you can have your contributions gradually increase.
Now, if the man in question is someone you met “on the street,” he may not even know he’s a sugar daddy. This approach can be a bit sneaky, but try to get something out of it every time you see it. At first, you may want to “go out with your friends.” Next time, maybe “his car needs some work.” Make sure he’s not a mechanical genius if you choose that one (unless your car really needs work and you don’t mind if he does). It will come to anticipate your needs and start giving you money freely on a regular basis.
With any type of sugar daddy, you can work to make him pay your car payment, rent, or mortgage. You can also convince him to pay for you to go back to school or help you start a business. The key is to overcome any doubts about letting him know what you need. Very few of the sugar daddies I have met were shy when it came to what THEY wanted.
Suppose you have been regularly seeing a sugar daddy showering you with gifts, but what you really need is money to pay your bills. After you’ve been dating a sugar daddy for a while, it’s going to be harder to broach the subject than someone new. In any case, you still need to test the waters. Sit down with him and have a frank but friendly conversation. You might want to start by saying, “I really enjoy spending time with you. I love that you buy me x,y,z. But I really could use some help with my rent, mortgage, or car payment.” Judge their reaction to that request and choose your next move.
If he freaks out, it’s because he’s more interested in having a girlfriend than a sugar baby or feels like he’d be buying your “services” if he gives you cash. You may be able to wear it down over time, but don’t count on it. I’m not suggesting you end the relationship, but keep looking and meeting other potential sugar daddies. Eventually, you’ll find a man who doesn’t freak out when you bring up the subject of the allowance. Instead, he will be more than happy to help you.
