Make no mistake: parenting is important, and if your goal is to raise decent, empathic children who put doing and saying the right thing above expediency, start with the golden rule from the Book of Matthew that says, “So whatever you want others to do to you, do to them also…” Even the non-religious among us should be able to understand that, and yet…
A little boy cried his heart out late into the night after learning he hadn’t been invited to one of his “best” friend’s birthday parties. About that, the birthday boy’s mother told her dad: “Well, maybe next year I’ll be on the list.”
Then there is the father who, after his son’s team struck out, said in the ear of several team members and their parents, “You’re the best, but you can’t be expected to carry the team all the time! ” That same guy invited only the best players on his team to celebrate making it to the playoffs. Apples and trees…
So much for empathy, that ability to know it when you see it to find out how another person feels and then act accordingly. The same goes, it seems, for kindness and character. It’s no wonder, then, that along with all the curricular changes and other demands that are already in place, schools are now having to step in and teach social-emotional skills.
And they will try. In fact, eight large, mostly urban school districts are currently participating in a multiyear initiative in which researchers study their schools’ social-emotional learning programs. These, explains education weekEvie Blad by Evie Blad “combines an evidence-based classroom curriculum with improvements in school climate and efforts to infuse social and emotional concepts into the teaching of traditional subjects such as history.”
In that regard, a big change in Cleveland schools today, for example, is that in-school suspension rooms are now called “planning centers,” a place where misbehaving kids talk to parents. teachers to help them deal with their problem or disruptive behavior. . A definitive change in disciplinary policy.
At the same time, an Education Week Research Center survey found that 60.5% of responding administrators said students in their schools have desired social-emotional skills; however, only 46.5% of the teachers who responded agreed, which represents a bit of a disconnect. Meanwhile, 49.9% said their schools pay “the right amount of attention” to those skills. Does that mean schools should be doing a better job of instilling these attributes? What about the parents?
In addition to all this, since 2004, every January – yes, I’m a little late on that – Insult Week is recognized. Defined as “an annual week of educational and creative activities aimed at putting an end to name-calling, bullying and harassment”, it is designed to celebrate kindness in our schools, with online lesson plans. This, of course, simply underscores the need to instill the golden rule from the start.
Apparently, us adults could use a little socio-emotional coaching too, starting with our current generation of politicians and media people. Remember when Vice President Joe Biden liked the Tea Party Republicans to terrorists? what about when New York Times Opinion columnist Joe Nocera wrote: “…In recent months, much of the country has watched in horror as Tea Party Republicans have waged jihad against the American people.” Similarly, writing for the same paper, Thomas Friedman described those same Tea Partyers as “the Hezbollah faction of the Republican Party.”
Such rhetoric seems endless today. Take, for example, that after the shooting of Rep. Gabrielle Gifford and her constituents, David Fitzsimmons, cartoonist of the (Tucson) arizona daily starhe blamed the right in Arizona for “storing the fire of heated anger and rage” and “making the attack inevitable.”
Then there is our “role model” of people in Hollywood emulated by so many, children and adults alike. Talk about average. Take, for example, dear Sandra Bullock. As she walked the red carpet one night, a reporter asked her what designer she was wearing, a question most divas are asked. Her reply for all to hear: “How could you ask such a stupid question?”
For another example from Hollywood, take the renowned Charlie Sheen who, in a Tweet, compared Rihanna to “84 endless seconds of drinking Drano.”
About such goings-on, author Daniel H. Pink reminds us that, “Empathy is about putting yourself in someone else’s shoes, feeling with your heart, seeing with your eyes. Not only is empathy difficult to outsource and automate, but makes the world a better place.”
Yes, and it starts at home…
