Our lives have changed due to COVID-19. We have found ourselves in different, difficult and uncertain times with our jobs, careers, families and finances.
The way we work, socialize and live with each other has changed.
The way we communicate with each other has also changed.
Face-to-face interactions with bosses, coworkers, customers, colleagues, customers, family, and friends are limited.
However, moments of bonding with immediate family members, such as children, husbands, wives, partners, boyfriends, girlfriends and other important people, increase.
The way we communicate with each other has become more than just the type of medium we use (ie face-to-face, Zoom, FaceTime, Duo, Marco Polo).
The way we communicate with each other has also become a reminder of what we say Y how do we say it.
It is important to have the need for adequate, respectful and loving communication at this time. The reason I say this is because in the last couple of months I’ve noticed a change in TV commercials. I now see more commercials about suicide prevention, mental health, domestic violence, child abuse, and stress management.
These types of commercials are a sign that people are experiencing more stress and conflict in their lives than ever before.
These types of commercials are also a sign that people are feeling stressed to the point that they are causing harm to themselves and/or others.
When stress builds and we feel like we can’t take it anymore, we lose the ability to communicate effectively. Instead of honestly and directly asking for what we want and need, we attack, insult, belittle, or say nothing. We limit our possibilities for a healthy and results-oriented conversation.
Now, more than ever before, is the time to make sure we pay attention to how we communicate!
Our communication skills must be used in healthy ways to save our lives, maintain our relationships, and contribute positively to the lives of others.
During this time, we must be aware of our choice of words. Choosing our words carefully when we speak will allow us to become aware of what Really tell. Saying the right things when we speak will allow us to maintain valuable relationships with our loved ones. Using the right words when we talk to ourselves will increase our self-confidence and begin to eliminate some of the frustrations we feel.
During this time, we must also be aware of our voice tone. We’ve heard the saying over and over again, “It’s not what you say, it’s What you say it.” Saying the right thing – to others and to ourselves – can be compromised by using the wrong tone.
A conversation with my boyfriend recently reminded me of these two lessons.
He and I were discussing an incident that had occurred a few weeks ago. He informed me that during that time I had been mean to him. As he listened and thought about the incident, I realized that he was right. I had been mean to him.
And it had all happened in my choice of words and tone of voice!
Argh!
Although he told me that he forgave me because he knew I was going through something at the time, I must admit that I was not proud of myself when I realized that I had slipped up and used the wrong word and tone of voice with my love. .
I was disappointed. For you see, these are my trouble spots. I struggle to keep up with my choice of words and tone of voice in frustrating situations, especially with loved ones.
Over the years, I have gotten better at using appropriate word choice and tone of voice in frustrating situations. Unfortunately, based on my conversation with my boyfriend, I realized that he had relapsed and my trouble spots had resurfaced.
Instead of punishing myself, I thanked him for being honest with me. I apologized to him with a hug and a kiss. So I recognized the incident as an opportunity for growth.
I made a mental note to be aware of how my frustrations influence my choice of words and tone of voice. I promised myself to practice effective communication no matter how frustrated I felt.
And you?
Have you recently said something wrong to someone you love?
Have you allowed your tone of voice to ruin your conversations?
These are frustrating times that require the effective use of our communication skills. We must be aware of the words we say and the tone in which we pronounce them. We can use our choice of words and tone of voice to ask for help; solve domestic problems without violence; lovingly raise our children without abusing them; and speak power and positivity in our lives and the lives of others.
The next time you feel frustrated in a conversation with someone, I ask you to do what I will do, be mindful of your choice of words and tone of voice.
This will help you have a healthy, respectful, results-oriented conversation that you won’t regret.
