Have you ever felt that your partner speaks a totally different language from yours? Men and women really do speak different languages. I’m going to help you better understand that the brain chemistry of a man and a woman makes the same words very different. By doing so, you can help them learn each other’s language a little better and thus improve communication. Better communication can lead to better relationships!
There are two key differences between male and female communication. Gender brain chemistry creates this communication difference. For men, communication is generally used to solve the problem and get the task done. On the other hand, for a woman, communication is used for much more. For example, communication for the woman may be a way of solving a problem and/or minimizing her stress by increasing her oxytocin, thus helping her feel better. She may also use communication to create emotional bonds, strengthen relationships, stimulate her creative side, or even as a means of self-discovery.
This simple distinction can put a lot of stress on a relationship if it’s not understood. It has helped many of my clients understand that men and women really do speak two different languages. By taking the time to understand each other’s language, there can be peace, harmony and understanding, where before there could have been mistrust, animosity and even hatred, all due to lack of understanding.
When the man talks and is very practical and generally goes straight to the point, he is not being rude or bossy. That’s the way his brain is wired to speak. His brain chemistry makes them mull things over in their “caveman time” quietly and usually alone. Then, when the problem is “solved,” they talk or take action. A male brain is wired to solve the problem and complete the task.
On the other hand, the woman likes to talk about the problem along with fifty ways it could be solved. She has an idea of what the consensus is, even if she doesn’t go with the consensus to solve the problem. She will have made you feel good about talking about it, discussing it, and maybe even thinking about it and discussing it a few more times. She bears in mind that even as she discusses the problem at hand, her feminine brain has 50-100 other fires that are just as hot and need to be put out as the fire she is tending to right now.
