What to do if you have an extraordinary experience during grief

Millions of people around the world have reported Extraordinary Experiences (EE) mourning the death of their loved ones. These experiences are not associated with a psychic. Rather, they are spontaneous in nature and appear to originate from an external source. They include visions, synchronicities, hearing the deceased, feeling the presence of the loved one, visitation dreams, and various symbolic signs, to name a few.

These events have been occurring since the dawn of history and appear to be a normal phenomenon that brings great comfort and knowledge to the afflicted. Because they cannot be proved or disproved, little is done to show how they can be used or accepted as a gift to share and discuss. They serve the spirit by having the recipient consider where these things come from and who controls them.

Here’s what to do if you are lucky enough to have the experience or are supporting someone who shares an experience with you.

1. Discard the obvious. It’s good to be skeptical, especially if you’ve never had an EE before and wonder if it’s just wishful thinking. Ask yourself if this is the kind of thing your loved one would do, and decide if you have an intuitive certainty about the experience. Most important of all, did it bring you peace or feelings that you were giving yourself love? If you answer yes, thank your Higher Power and use it to cope with your loss.

2. As soon as possible, write down the full experience. Start with where you were and what you were doing when the event took place. Then, from start to finish, go into the details and give a full description. Be sure to include the feelings evoked and how you interpret the message conveyed by the experience.

3. Keep a copy of your writing in a safe place where you can pass it on as part of your family history. Your EE can be a wonderful legacy to give to the next generation, where it will be read and speculated as a source of love. Place it with other important papers with a note about its importance and meaning to you.

4. Share it with your family or close friends. In doing so, be prepared that there are some who disagree with your opinion of its meaning. Don’t let that bother you. In fact, it is to be expected. You and only you are the sole judge of your experience. You know how it felt, the timing, what it was saying, and the implications. Hold on to your belief.

5. Use it to teach your children about the fact that love never dies. EE brings comfort and the universal message: “I’m fine and you can be fine too.” It is a gift of love to face the transition that you must face. When it comes to a child, clarify that the deceased loves him very much. That is why the child was given the experience.

6. When you have a bad day, take your copy of the experience and read it focusing on its meaning and the love it represents. You can leave a written copy of your experience in a drawer on your nightstand for you to read at any time. Use it as inspiration and a reminder that your loved one knows what is going on and wants you to persist in adjusting to their loss.

7. Create a personal symbol that characterizes the experience that you can prominently display in your home, car, or purse. This symbol can be a special possession that you own or that belonged to your loved one. It could be a drawing, an emblem, or a picture that sends you a particular message when you see it. Use it as a reminder that you are loved forever, as motivation to reach a particular goal, or to highlight any beliefs you want to keep prominent in your thinking.

Learn all you can about extraordinary experiences. Much has been written about them and there is much to study and learn. Taking this action will not only increase your awareness, but you will also educate yourself on one of the many mysteries of our universe that should be used as the gift it is intended to be. You will emerge with vitality and insight into a completely new phase of life.

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