Low self-esteem and female facilitator: can it be time to reflect on oneself?
Suffering from low self-esteem can cause you to value someone else’s life more than your own. Low self-esteem has a lot to do with how you see yourself and nothing to do with how you see the other person. If a woman doesn’t like what she sees in the mirror, she’s likely to look to someone else for validation. Taking control of another person’s life and trying to fix that person, in a sense, empowers them. There is another person whom she can see lower than herself. Therefore, she has never really had a chance to focus on her own shortcomings because she is too busy focusing on the person she is training. He has become obsessed with the enablers and has started making excuses for the bad behavior exhibited instead of holding the person accountable for what he knows is wrong.
While the feeling of worthlessness is part of the definition of low self-esteem, the result of low self-esteem can lead to potentially destructive behavior. The inability to say no presents a big problem for the enabler. I sat in a prison full of women who suffered from low self-esteem and the inability to say no. Some of the women were facilitators and others were enabled. The facilitadoras used to have a drug dealer or pimp boyfriend who they supported and made excuses for on a daily basis, thus perpetuating the bad behaviors. The women who were empowered were usually the product of a controlling mother, father, or family member who made excuses for their continued bad behavior.
I often wondered why these women spend so much time in one-sided relationships to the point of giving up their freedom. But I had done the same thing without being in a one-sided relationship. I soon realized that it is because, generally speaking, in some cases, women have been socialized and trained to behave in self-destructive ways that benefit men at the expense of women. My proof is in the lives of the women I met in prison.
Self-reflection is a good place to start when you feel overwhelmed by low self-esteem. Consider the following questions as you move toward healing.
What is your image of a strong person? Do you possess all or some of these qualities?
Describe yourself. Write your good and bad qualities. Is there something you would like to change?
Do not be afraid of what is revealed in your answers. You are on a journey to wholeness.
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