Bumper-to-bumper traffic: the back of a horse
Everything that comes to mind is usually written on a yellow notepad. Today’s scuttlebutt is no exception. I am giving you fair warning that what you are about to read is not something you would normally think about in the context of everyday life (nor would you want to) … unless you are waiting in line for long periods of time, which in my case, I usually am. This time I was waiting for the early morning bumper-to-bumper traffic to clear so I could get out to the barn. I said a few select words, which led to the topic of the next paragraph.
Listed below are a dozen ways to describe the substance that comes out of the back of a horse after said equine ingests 50 pounds of hay a day, along with six to eight quarts of oats, grass, and a variety of treats that include, but are not limited to, carrots, apples, horse biscuits with molasses, sugar cubes, and candy canes (winter months) or cellophane-wrapped mints (summer months). This, of course, is accompanied by 10 to 15 gallons of water per day.
What goes in must go out, so here is the list:
1. Prairie muffins
2. Road blocks
3. Horse Balls
4. Horse shit
9. Horse plops
12. Reconstituted plant matter (for people too suitable to call it what it really is … horse shit)
Pick your favorite word above to describe horse droppings and win a prize. Read my next article and find out what the prize is. Who knows, you may win. Be sure to email me your response.